








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 617 | 24% |
| Smokes | 706 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 494 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 745 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $387,175 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | LioN | 75% | 24 |
| #4 | K.ma | 71% | 17 |
| #5 | ICREW | 60% | 43 |
| #6 | hozeeeee | 58% | 86 |
| #7 | birnez | 55% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hozeeeee | 19 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | birnez | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | LioN | 6 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | Michon | 4 | 0.0313 |
| #5 | ICREW | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hozeeeee | 307 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | birnez | 213 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | ICREW | 146 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | LioN | 64 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Michon | 43 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michon | +6.61 | 91 | 83 |
| #2 | ICREW | +4.77 | 93 | 68 |
| #3 | LioN | +3.61 | 87 | 63 |
| #4 | hozeeeee | +3.40 | 92 | 62 |
| #5 | K.ma | +0.67 | 77 | 62 |





