








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 438 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5026 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,255 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1514 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2041 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1887 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2813 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,540,074 of utility $286 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 407 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | llinkis | 45% | 89 |
| #6 | Henkie | 43% | 44 |
| #7 | Chutbeeks | 42% | 76 |
| #8 | JDK Development Kit | 39% | 38 |
| #9 | [Grlm]JuliusCaesar | 35% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | llinkis | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Chutbeeks | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Kinky Karl | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Henkie | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | [Grlm]JuliusCaesar | 1 | 0.0006 |





