








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 979 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 693 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 217 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




100 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9320 | 26% |
| Smokes | 11861 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 7501 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7064 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,974,650 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 632 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Koń pociągowy | 53% | 157 |
| #3 | 神 Kærbøn 神 | 52% | 382 |
| #4 | michu45 | 51% | 209 |
| #5 | k_motive | 47% | 175 |
| #6 | zlitek98 | 46% | 83 |





