








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 844 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3046 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2755 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2176 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2425 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1019 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $978,420 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CJ | 43% | 54 |
| #2 | M4ND0 | 40% | 131 |
| #3 | dedi | 40% | 62 |
| #4 | de_mon | 38% | 94 |
| #5 | Egi | 38% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Egi | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | M4ND0 | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | de_mon | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | CJ | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | dedi | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M4ND0 | 372 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Egi | 270 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | dedi | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | CJ | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | de_mon | 16 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CJ | +0.36 | 21 | 43 |
| #2 | dedi | -0.07 | 44 | 54 |
| #3 | Fobic | -0.09 | 52 | 53 |
| #4 | M4ND0 | -0.43 | 31 | 55 |
| #5 | Egi | -2.74 | 34 | 54 |





