








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
54 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 47 | 24% |
| Smokes | 65 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 33 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 47 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $31,225 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ClearestCube | 33% | 3 |
| #2 | PAT | 25% | 4 |
| #3 | Reaper | 25% | 4 |
| #4 | Wayne Glensky | 22% | 9 |
| #5 | Codykeyman | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ClearestCube | 33% | 3 |
| #2 | PAT | 25% | 4 |
| #3 | Reaper | 25% | 4 |
| #4 | Wayne Glensky | 22% | 9 |
| #5 | Codykeyman | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wayne Glensky | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wayne Glensky | 12 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #2 | Codykeyman | 6 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | Reaper | 5 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | PAT | 3 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | ClearestCube | 1 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PAT | +1.35 | 59 | 52 |
| #2 | Wayne Glensky | -0.03 | 35 | 60 |
| #3 | Reaper | -0.30 | 45 | 76 |
| #4 | Codykeyman | -1.56 | 21 | 51 |
| #5 | Davy Jones | -3.55 | 29 | 59 |





