










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 682 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,945 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2930 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2271 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2380 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1364 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $297,765 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 411 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | uLL Toll | 50% | 101 |
| #3 | mather is ded | 49% | 93 |
| #4 | Blacktexon | 48% | 185 |
| #5 | Lowcry | 47% | 58 |
| #6 | $ uLL|Andy | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mather is ded | 46 | 0.0256 |
| #2 | uLL Toll | 34 | 0.0174 |
| #3 | Blacktexon | 24 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Lowcry | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mather is ded | 293 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | uLL Toll | 266 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Blacktexon | 229 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | $ uLL|Andy | 81 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lowcry | 61 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mather is ded | +2.21 | 76 | 49 |
| #2 | xXmatherXx | nigayoda | +1.51 | 70 | 56 |
| #3 | Blacktexon | +0.90 | 72 | 55 |
| #4 | Lowcry | +0.70 | 84 | 31 |
| #5 | uLL Toll | -0.20 | 58 | 36 |





