








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,976 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2923 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2816 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1417 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1820 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $688,497 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DoublePonche | 72% | 36 |
| #2 | Heqd can back if he want | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | tonton | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | MOMOteK | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | HANDEKSHOX | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | tonton | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | MOMOteK | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | HANDEKSHOX | 42% | 12 |
| #6 | Nouchka | 38% | 37 |
| #7 | PK1DD | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DoublePonche | 135 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | tonton | 119 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Heqd can back if he want | 96 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | PK1DD | 69 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nouchka | 62 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | godoJESUS | +1.41 | 85 | 72 |
| #2 | DoublePonche | +1.24 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | tonton | +1.03 | 82 | 72 |
| #4 | PK1DD | -0.31 | 65 | 70 |
| #5 | Nouchka | -0.91 | 77 | 52 |





