








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 778 | 26% |
| Smokes | 712 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 530 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 951 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $618,012 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 69% | 74 |
| #2 | JukeboxGuy | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | arousing footy play | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | Arkadelphia Beauty College | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | puntsetthike | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JukeboxGuy | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Noname | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | arousing footy play | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Arkadelphia Beauty College | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | puntsetthike | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | Arkadelphia Beauty College | 73 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Undead | 51 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | arousing footy play | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | puntsetthike | 29 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arkadelphia Beauty College | +3.72 | 67 | 56 |
| #2 | Noname | +3.32 | 89 | 47 |
| #3 | Frosti | +2.73 | 71 | 52 |
| #4 | puntsetthike | +2.23 | 44 | 50 |
| #5 | JukeboxGuy | -0.03 | 68 | 58 |





