








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3776 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2844 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2274 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2424 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,044,521 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1289 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ℒυℓι | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Señor Vac | 59% | 82 |
| #3 | BlaZedSoulZz | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ℒυℓι | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Señor Vac | 59% | 82 |
| #3 | BlaZedSoulZz | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Vac | 14 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | BlaZedSoulZz | 2 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Vac | 287 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | BlaZedSoulZz | 49 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | ℒυℓι | 10 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Vac | +3.27 | 87 | 54 |
| #2 | BlaZedSoulZz | +0.77 | 63 | 63 |
| #3 | Snox | -0.23 | 79 | 69 |
| #4 | ℒυℓι | -0.65 | 63 | 61 |





