








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 565 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,366 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7576 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6490 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5033 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6267 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,244,383 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 387 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bobi | 68% | 57 |
| #2 | Julius | 64% | 242 |
| #3 | Steakie | 64% | 72 |
| #4 | Ocean | 61% | 500 |
| #5 | JDR | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bobi | 68% | 57 |
| #2 | Julius | 64% | 242 |
| #3 | Steakie | 64% | 72 |
| #4 | Ocean | 61% | 500 |
| #5 | JDR | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ocean | 24 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Julius | 18 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Steakie | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Bobi | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | JDR | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ocean | 997 | 0.10 | 27 min |
| #2 | Julius | 485 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | Bobi | 97 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | JDR | 85 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Steakie | 45 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aqua | +2.13 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | Ocean | +2.10 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | Bobi | +2.09 | 79 | 51 |
| #4 | Steakie | -0.16 | 68 | 47 |
| #5 | Julius | -1.61 | 67 | 53 |





