








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1221 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 141 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,679 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9346 | 21% |
| Smokes | 13268 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 12114 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 8951 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,539,711 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 640 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Daddy_Bip | 45% | 110 |
| #6 | ☣︎☢︎Franz "Cliff"☢ MP7 | 44% | 156 |
| #7 | Glenn "Præsi" | 44% | 251 |
| #8 | WaM | 44% | 82 |
| #9 | beden | 38% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣︎☢︎Franz "Cliff"☢ MP7 | 751 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #2 | Glenn "Præsi" | 653 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | Daddy_Bip | 208 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Rullepølsen | 186 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | WaM | 183 | 0.10 | 6 min |





