








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1943 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2063 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2127 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 636 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $880,264 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phytonix | 52% | 89 |
| #2 | Samkruso | 52% | 66 |
| #3 | mino | 48% | 88 |
| #4 | st!ng :v | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐨 | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phytonix | 52% | 89 |
| #2 | Samkruso | 52% | 66 |
| #3 | mino | 48% | 88 |
| #4 | st!ng :v | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐨 | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phytonix | 11 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | mino | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Samkruso | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samkruso | 205 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Phytonix | 198 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | mino | 127 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐨 | 60 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | st!ng :v | 43 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phytonix | +0.65 | 59 | 61 |
| #2 | mino | +0.44 | 73 | 52 |
| #3 | Zlatschkuh | +0.03 | 79 | 54 |
| #4 | 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐨 | -0.51 | 61 | 64 |
| #5 | st!ng :v | -0.76 | 60 | 41 |





