










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,218 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1858 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1579 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1555 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1226 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $283,405 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epex | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | qre | 71% | 24 |
| #3 | JONTTU -V- | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | Nig0 | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | allub | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | JONTTU -V- | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | Nig0 | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | allub | 57% | 23 |
| #6 | tuulessa | 56% | 9 |
| #7 | Hi-Tech | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qre | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Hi-Tech | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Nig0 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Epex | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hi-Tech | 112 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | allub | 68 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | qre | 66 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nig0 | 65 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Epex | 28 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epex | +3.73 | 63 | 61 |
| #2 | Gran1t | +2.06 | 60 | 69 |
| #3 | JONTTU -V- | +1.47 | 74 | 54 |
| #4 | tuulessa | +1.13 | 84 | 50 |
| #5 | qre | +0.72 | 75 | 64 |





