








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 487 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 395 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5558 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4087 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3067 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3384 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,151,173 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 442 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -md | 71% | 97 |
| #2 | GROSGOGOT69 | 71% | 65 |
| #3 | Mauritian Psycho | 70% | 101 |
| #4 | BOOM | 68% | 72 |
| #5 | VICE | 64% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | VICE | 64% | 90 |
| #6 | Serodos | 63% | 174 |
| #7 | SNEAKY FOX | 60% | 171 |
| #8 | Neo | 60% | 25 |
| #9 | Jok3R™ | 56% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Serodos | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | VICE | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | SNEAKY FOX | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | GROSGOGOT69 | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | -md | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SNEAKY FOX | 882 | 0.26 | 20 min |
| #2 | Serodos | 558 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #3 | -md | 521 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #4 | GROSGOGOT69 | 381 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #5 | Jok3R™ | 225 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mauritian Psycho | +3.79 | 89 | 70 |
| #2 | Jenx | +2.20 | 77 | 69 |
| #3 | Serodos | +1.82 | 76 | 82 |
| #4 | Neo | +1.28 | 89 | 64 |
| #5 | Jok3R™ | +1.18 | 75 | 66 |





