










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 273 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1257 | 36% |
| Smokes | 841 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 844 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 575 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $363,703 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bri | 82% | 17 |
| #2 | Penjamin Franklin | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | What do we want | 71% | 48 |
| #4 | Bock Bock | 58% | 36 |
| #5 | War Seal | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Commie Daddy | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | What do we want | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Bock Bock | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bock Bock | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | What do we want | 59 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | War Seal | 33 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Penjamin Franklin | 31 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | positivity | 14 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KayDote | +5.27 | 81 | 72 |
| #2 | What do we want | +1.83 | 46 | 51 |
| #3 | Penjamin Franklin | +1.02 | 56 | 47 |
| #4 | War Seal | +0.42 | 40 | 47 |
| #5 | Commie Daddy | -1.82 | 30 | 23 |





