








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 544 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7739 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9585 | 26% |
| Smokes | 11087 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5822 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 9904 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,304,677 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 382 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | kzk_ | 55% | 73 |
| #7 | Aj | 50% | 345 |
| #8 | Rak1M | 48% | 434 |
| #9 | ttv/tiisumi | 48% | 56 |
| #10 | Æ Petîte Hörny | 44% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j | 27 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Rak1M | 20 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Aj | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | kzk_ | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | ttv/tiisumi | 3 | 0.0025 |





