








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 782 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 330 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8168 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3867 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4707 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4898 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,499,095 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 875 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ✪ wNy | 49% | 80 |
| #5 | Brolaf Scholz | 47% | 32 |
| #6 | Cocoツ | 43% | 58 |
| #7 | Blacky | 41% | 29 |
| #8 | simply | 32% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cocoツ | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Brobert Habeck | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ✪ wNy | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Brolaf Scholz | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Blacky | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cocoツ | 247 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Blacky | 164 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #3 | ✪ wNy | 160 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | simply | 117 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Brobert Habeck | 111 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blacky | +2.48 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | ✪ wNy | +0.74 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | bowl | +0.28 | 75 | 75 |
| #4 | Brolaf Scholz | +0.07 | 74 | 65 |
| #5 | Cocoツ | -0.13 | 88 | 58 |





