








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 796 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1678 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2261 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4544 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 2849 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,511,161 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 813 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peace of mind | 52% | 273 |
| #2 | xc1usive | 44% | 39 |
| #3 | §_D Dressco | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peace of mind | 52% | 273 |
| #2 | xc1usive | 44% | 39 |
| #3 | §_D Dressco | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peace of mind | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | §_D Dressco | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peace of mind | 138 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #2 | §_D Dressco | 113 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | xc1usive | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peace of mind | +0.61 | 69 | 38 |
| #2 | §_D Dressco | +0.31 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | amastoren | +0.30 | 66 | 51 |
| #4 | xc1usive | -0.32 | 64 | 66 |





