








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 400 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 546 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 120 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,644 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5316 | 21% |
| Smokes | 9141 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 6440 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4747 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,682,089 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Firebrand | 393 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | Kalash | 321 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Quaddie | 168 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Moo Moo | 154 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Quadzilla | 153 | 0.16 | 4 min |





