








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 614 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4506 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,965 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3628 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4308 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2325 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2704 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,837,042 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 310 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goldcod | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | sliffy | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | ponq | 50% | 44 |
| #4 | j0nga+_ | 47% | 134 |
| #5 | hasbiK | 46% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | sliffy | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | ponq | 50% | 44 |
| #4 | j0nga+_ | 47% | 134 |
| #5 | hasbiK | 46% | 70 |
| #6 | ORSi | 44% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hasbiK | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Goldcod | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | j0nga+_ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | ORSi | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | ponq | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ORSi | 190 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | hasbiK | 128 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | j0nga+_ | 104 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Goldcod | 95 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | ponq | 90 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ponq | +2.99 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | goose | +1.59 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | Goldcod | +0.46 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | hasbiK | -0.12 | 56 | 58 |
| #5 | j0nga+_ | -0.29 | 59 | 47 |





