








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 507 matches | ||
| Premier | 371 matches | ||
| Wingman | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4056 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6210 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3893 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3416 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,413,650 of utility $285 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 325 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Romzo | 52% | 79 |
| #9 | KryssDoffer | 52% | 56 |
| #10 | dark-matter420 | 50% | 78 |
| #11 | juiced-enthusiast | 49% | 219 |
| #12 | big swole | 49% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juiced-enthusiast | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Seren☆ | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | MADEVIV | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Jewish | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | big swole | 4 | 0.0013 |





