








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 177 matches | ||
| Wingman | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 80 matches | ||
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,635 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5519 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5310 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4846 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3960 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,060,718 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 483 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Hyperion | 51% | 209 |
| #3 | *Insert name here* | 45% | 389 |
| #4 | ىcąяєd | 43% | 616 |
| #5 | bubbles | 38% | 139 |
| #6 | kakpoo | 34% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ىcąяєd | 27 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | *Insert name here* | 15 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | bubbles | 15 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Hyperion | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | kakpoo | 6 | 0.0029 |





