








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2037 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,247 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1597 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1811 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1627 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1212 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,056,277 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 355 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brosty_Cums | 13 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | cole palmer FC | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Crusty Buns | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | xRivvy | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Microsoft OneNote | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Medic Man with Sus Intent | 291 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | Crusty Buns | 183 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | cole palmer FC | 161 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Microsoft Excel | 151 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | xRivvy | 147 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brosty_Cums | +5.33 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | Crusty Buns | +4.61 | 73 | 71 |
| #3 | Microsoft Excel | +2.81 | 84 | 69 |
| #4 | cole palmer FC | +0.79 | 73 | 53 |
| #5 | Medic Man with Sus Intent | +0.77 | 56 | 64 |





