








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1236 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 530 | 30% |
| Smokes | 536 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 393 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 332 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $94,083 of utility $34 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matilde | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | Shwabby | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | ✪ Swizayyy | 57% | 94 |
| #4 | Cowboy Shiiii | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | Dmills | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Shwabby | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | ✪ Swizayyy | 57% | 94 |
| #4 | Cowboy Shiiii | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | Dmills | 45% | 11 |
| #6 | ✪ Snazy | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cowboy Shiiii | 12 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | ✪ Swizayyy | 11 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | matilde | 7 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | Dmills | 1 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | ✪ Snazy | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Swizayyy | 398 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | Cowboy Shiiii | 38 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | ✪ Snazy | 24 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dmills | 22 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | Shwabby | 20 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matilde | +5.38 | 79 | 36 |
| #2 | ✪ Swizayyy | +0.41 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | Dmills | +0.36 | 44 | 36 |
| #4 | Jetami$ | +0.12 | 66 | 37 |
| #5 | ✪ Snazy | -0.12 | 46 | 46 |





