








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 395 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 300 matches | ||
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Esplay | 6 matches | 1,536 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1516 | 12% |
| Smokes | 4244 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3205 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4190 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,344,807 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 713 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EaSyTms | 51% | 47 |
| #2 | Blitz #reppaorten | 50% | 36 |
| #3 | Ananoice | 49% | 141 |
| #4 | bjoo | 47% | 38 |
| #5 | Maxxzyy | 46% | 410 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ananoice | 401 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | Maxxzyy | 275 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #3 | Blitz #reppaorten | 194 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ron Winsley | 181 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | MrKarl ツ | 139 | 0.21 | 4 min |





