








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
670 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 701 | 28% |
| Smokes | 561 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 635 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 637 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $209,227 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FOCKS | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | ✪ Thorben | 49% | 67 |
| #3 | Zuupix | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | TeddyWS | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FOCKS | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | ✪ Thorben | 49% | 67 |
| #3 | Zuupix | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | TeddyWS | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Thorben | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | TeddyWS | 4 | 0.0299 |
| #3 | FOCKS | 3 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Thorben | 190 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | FOCKS | 34 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | TeddyWS | 12 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Zuupix | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FOCKS | +3.18 | 71 | 65 |
| #2 | TeddyWS | +2.15 | 79 | 64 |
| #3 | Danky xD | +0.98 | 74 | 56 |
| #4 | Zuupix | -0.88 | 68 | 48 |
| #5 | ✪ Thorben | -1.99 | 37 | 61 |





