








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 712 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 308 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7027 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4725 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5277 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3667 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2617 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,010,202 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 662 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arty | 350 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | DinoFister69 | 207 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Cuphead | 166 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | аимбот | 132 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | LongJohnny23 | 129 | 0.03 | 3 min |





