








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 324 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3223 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,113 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4292 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5546 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3575 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4700 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,244,815 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SharP | 57% | 121 |
| #2 | Hypnoz | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | Bäska | 54% | 128 |
| #4 | hrgojranbo | 53% | 111 |
| #5 | tursakee | 53% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tursakee | 510 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | hrgojranbo | 418 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #3 | oSE | 294 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | Jokey Smurf | 288 | 0.33 | 8 min |
| #5 | Poksy<3 | 258 | 0.10 | 8 min |





