








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 846 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 372 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4026 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5775 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5415 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6053 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,288,456 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 427 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cero.O | 59% | 58 |
| #2 | zsúrkocsi | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | Aanthrax | 55% | 82 |
| #4 | Misa | 54% | 57 |
| #5 | DaVe | 54% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | kis'Orine | 50% | 151 |
| #8 | d'Orine | 50% | 191 |
| #9 | KolbiPeek | 49% | 81 |
| #10 | MadeMan ;) | 49% | 68 |
| #11 | Doktor úr | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kis'Orine | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | KolbiPeek | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | d'Orine | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Misa | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | MadeMan ;) | 3 | 0.0021 |





