








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 299 | 13% |
| Smokes | 555 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 637 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 821 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,091,021 of utility $350 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 671 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mlanky | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | yin | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | Habibi | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | m4ge | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | Scrappy Gamer | 47% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | yin | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | Habibi | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | m4ge | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | Scrappy Gamer | 47% | 118 |
| #6 | gUY | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scrappy Gamer | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | m4ge | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | gUY | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Mlanky | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | yin | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scrappy Gamer | 301 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | m4ge | 186 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | gUY | 89 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Habibi | 41 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mlanky | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mlanky | +7.41 | 72 | 69 |
| #2 | gUY | +4.58 | 73 | 59 |
| #3 | yin | +2.92 | 68 | 56 |
| #4 | Scrappy Gamer | +1.59 | 52 | 59 |
| #5 | m4ge | +0.80 | 40 | 64 |





