








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2581 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,504 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 971 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1052 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2415 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 1066 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $600,237 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ponks | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | selmitza! | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | ᠌ Krazes | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | [WINX] Verlido | 43% | 120 |
| #5 | dNz | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | selmitza! | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | ᠌ Krazes | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | [WINX] Verlido | 43% | 120 |
| #5 | dNz | 36% | 33 |
| #6 | --== Qubiska ==-- | 28% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [WINX] Verlido | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | ᠌ Krazes | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [WINX] Verlido | 112 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | ponks | 55 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | --== Qubiska ==-- | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | ᠌ Krazes | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | dNz | 33 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ponks | +1.25 | 31 | 69 |
| #2 | dNz | +0.25 | 55 | 52 |
| #3 | [WINX] Verlido | +0.22 | 58 | 43 |
| #4 | ᠌ Krazes | -0.60 | 23 | 44 |
| #5 | [WINX] Beezmann | -1.01 | 34 | 49 |





