








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1412 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1189 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1381 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1252 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $345,002 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JopiJay | 71% | 76 |
| #2 | Fad3C | 68% | 74 |
| #3 | A4 | 63% | 46 |
| #4 | Sarv1s-meah- | 63% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JopiJay | 71% | 76 |
| #2 | Fad3C | 68% | 74 |
| #3 | A4 | 63% | 46 |
| #4 | Sarv1s-meah- | 63% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarv1s-meah- | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | A4 | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Fad3C | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | JopiJay | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JopiJay | 324 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Sarv1s-meah- | 272 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Fad3C | 137 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | A4 | 80 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A4 | +3.02 | 88 | 50 |
| #2 | JopiJay | +2.63 | 81 | 72 |
| #3 | Sarv1s-meah- | +2.04 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | Kebabjaeger | +0.23 | 59 | 60 |
| #5 | Fad3C | -0.29 | 69 | 62 |





