








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1366 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 382 | 15% |
| Smokes | 848 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 858 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 415 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,418 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoOK. | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | farewall | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | kapi | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | ScreaM | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | DAFKA | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | kapi | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | ScreaM | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | DAFKA | 55% | 11 |
| #6 | JoE | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | herbietto. | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kapi | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScreaM | 44 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | JoE | 40 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #3 | farewall | 31 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | DAFKA | 23 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | kapi | 17 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | herbietto. | +2.05 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | farewall | +1.75 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | ScreaM | +1.51 | 56 | 71 |
| #4 | kapi | +1.36 | 68 | 68 |
| #5 | LoOK. | +1.20 | 78 | 46 |





