










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
735 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1162 | 32% |
| Smokes | 888 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 801 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 792 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $343,935 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KoLi | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Onkel | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Johnny Frimund | 2 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | dewey | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | youngjunkie | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onkel | 104 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #2 | KoLi | 75 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Fjetten | 52 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | dewey | 47 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Johnny Frimund | 37 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fjetten | +6.71 | 92 | 72 |
| #2 | dewey | +5.44 | 84 | 59 |
| #3 | Johnny Frimund | +3.40 | 89 | 64 |
| #4 | youngjunkie | +0.85 | 45 | 71 |
| #5 | ssmileY | -0.58 | 52 | 78 |





