










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1310 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 574 | 26% |
| Smokes | 123 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 1233 | 56% |
| Molotovs | 254 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $659,804 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kitsune | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | iXtincT | 50% | 151 |
| #3 | JP | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | Lebaron Yams | 47% | 47 |
| #5 | 0-0-4 Tack Shooter | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | iXtincT | 50% | 151 |
| #3 | JP | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | Lebaron Yams | 47% | 47 |
| #5 | 0-0-4 Tack Shooter | 36% | 14 |
| #6 | VladDaddy | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iXtincT | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | JP | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | 0-0-4 Tack Shooter | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iXtincT | 213 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | JP | 147 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kitsune | 36 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lebaron Yams | 31 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | VladDaddy | 17 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JP | +6.63 | 69 | 71 |
| #2 | iXtincT | -0.09 | 48 | 53 |
| #3 | TaiPain | -0.11 | 65 | 51 |
| #4 | 0-0-4 Tack Shooter | -1.30 | 13 | 38 |
| #5 | Kitsune | -1.65 | 51 | 73 |





