








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,087 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 468 | 22% |
| Smokes | 607 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 655 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 357 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $222,028 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stomppa | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Masterwiski | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | sToBo | 52% | 63 |
| #4 | Razuz | 51% | 72 |
| #5 | ︽jนcкler | 51% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Razuz | 51% | 72 |
| #5 | ︽jนcкler | 51% | 67 |
| #6 | pudeb | 47% | 55 |
| #7 | jellyb | 46% | 26 |
| #8 | BOT NÄNNIPIHAN KEISARI | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sToBo | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | pudeb | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | jellyb | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Masterwiski | 2 | 0.0198 |
| #5 | Razuz | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Razuz | 207 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | pudeb | 167 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | ︽jนcкler | 148 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | sToBo | 111 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | jellyb | 79 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masterwiski | +3.21 | 73 | 72 |
| #2 | ︽jนcкler | +2.34 | 70 | 72 |
| #3 | sToBo | +2.31 | 69 | 73 |
| #4 | Stomppa | +0.11 | 61 | 77 |
| #5 | ode | +0.09 | 61 | 58 |





