








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1177 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1434 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1394 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1196 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $258,812 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sterno | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Ting Tong | 70% | 23 |
| #3 | ZyNicksxd | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | Aldi | 49% | 75 |
| #5 | ✞ BalkaN | 48% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞ BalkaN | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Aldi | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Lyngen | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | ZyNicksxd | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Ting Tong | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyngen | 276 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | ✞ BalkaN | 251 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | ZyNicksxd | 125 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ting Tong | 93 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Harzzek | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ SinK | +11.04 | 79 | 46 |
| #2 | ✞ BalkaN | +3.54 | 73 | 71 |
| #3 | Ting Tong | +1.88 | 76 | 78 |
| #4 | ZyNicksxd | +0.15 | 69 | 68 |
| #5 | Sterno | -0.07 | 64 | 35 |





