








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 733 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 130 | 18% |
| Smokes | 107 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 288 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 208 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $150,903 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Satulanhaistelija | 38% | 16 |
| #6 | Pulju | 35% | 23 |
| #7 | rämpytintinttäjä | 34% | 35 |
| #8 | Loli with umbrella | 24% | 17 |
| #9 | D1tt0 | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pulju | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Satulanhaistelija | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | rämpytintinttäjä | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Loli with umbrella | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Animenpoisto Apustaja | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rämpytintinttäjä | 229 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #2 | D1tt0 | 78 | 0.40 | 2 min |
| #3 | Pulju | 48 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Satulanhaistelija | 37 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Animenpoisto Apustaja | 30 | 0.12 | 1 min |





