








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 847 matches | ||
| Wingman | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7524 | 28% |
| Smokes | 8257 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8376 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3173 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,730,905 of utility $275 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3983 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milianesa Point | 48% | 115 |
| #2 | kowalski | 47% | 72 |
| #3 | Very.Hard | 35% | 138 |
| #4 | beans_for_breakfast | 33% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milianesa Point | 48% | 115 |
| #2 | kowalski | 47% | 72 |
| #3 | Very.Hard | 35% | 138 |
| #4 | beans_for_breakfast | 33% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Very.Hard | 35 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | beans_for_breakfast | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | kowalski | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Milianesa Point | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beans_for_breakfast | 188 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Very.Hard | 177 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | kowalski | 141 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Milianesa Point | 45 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | communism will win | -0.05 | 58 | 52 |
| #2 | kowalski | -0.31 | 69 | 45 |
| #3 | Very.Hard | -1.01 | 34 | 50 |
| #4 | Milianesa Point | -1.67 | 53 | 31 |
| #5 | beans_for_breakfast | -2.24 | 17 | 42 |





