








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3529 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 676 | 18% |
| Smokes | 316 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 1671 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 1114 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $583,081 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | laura les' kibble pal :3 | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | mimi | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Illi | 5 | 0.0119 |
| #4 | sethles | 4 | 0.0120 |
| #5 | prollybored | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | laura les' kibble pal :3 | 307 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | Illi | 75 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | sethfrost | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | ♥ boolian ♥ | 37 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | prollybored | 34 | 0.02 | 0 min |





