








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 981 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3448 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5504 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3950 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4235 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,058,345 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knoflookpoedertje | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | Nachason | 58% | 55 |
| #3 | Adam #Bewährung | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | Hellsnake | 54% | 124 |
| #5 | Smitty Werben Man Jensen#1♞۞ #Pe | 53% | 178 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Nachason | 58% | 55 |
| #3 | Adam #Bewährung | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | Hellsnake | 54% | 124 |
| #5 | Smitty Werben Man Jensen#1♞۞ #Pe | 53% | 178 |
| #6 | TSUBASA | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hellsnake | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Smitty Werben Man Jensen#1♞۞ #Pe | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | knoflookpoedertje | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | TSUBASA | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smitty Werben Man Jensen#1♞۞ #Pe | 244 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Adam #Bewährung | 138 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Hellsnake | 126 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nachason | 93 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | knoflookpoedertje | 41 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Claz | +3.01 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | Hellsnake | +0.18 | 73 | 48 |
| #3 | Smitty Werben Man Jensen#1♞۞ #Pe | -0.57 | 62 | 56 |
| #4 | Nachason | -1.04 | 70 | 63 |
| #5 | knoflookpoedertje | -1.09 | 75 | 44 |





