








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
985 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,356 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 851 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2621 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2547 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1337 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $328,818 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | BR3NN | 52% | 46 |
| #8 | Moorey | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | Lieutenant Capybara | 43% | 21 |
| #10 | SPOOK_! | 37% | 38 |
| #11 | JDM | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strafe | 6 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | SPOOK_! | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Moorey | 3 | 0.0121 |
| #4 | tried | 3 | 0.0127 |
| #5 | Kaizer | 2 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPOOK_! | 130 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | Moorey | 87 | 0.35 | 1 min |
| #3 | strafe | 83 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lieutenant Capybara | 79 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kaizer | 53 | 0.17 | 1 min |





