








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2600 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2870 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2350 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2168 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1762 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $824,927 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7e7scH | 50% | 18 |
| #2 | LeXoN | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | Nap1.# | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | MeLkoWy | 49% | 180 |
| #5 | moe | 49% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7e7scH | 50% | 18 |
| #2 | LeXoN | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | Nap1.# | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | MeLkoWy | 49% | 180 |
| #5 | moe | 49% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeLkoWy | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | moe | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Nap1.# | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeLkoWy | 343 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | LeXoN | 195 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #3 | moe | 90 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nap1.# | 55 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | 7e7scH | 19 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | / / I N A N I | +1.98 | 82 | 75 |
| #2 | LeXoN | +1.46 | 52 | 82 |
| #3 | moe | -0.01 | 71 | 74 |
| #4 | MeLkoWy | -1.38 | 46 | 71 |
| #5 | 7e7scH | -1.69 | 63 | 56 |





