








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 749 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 321 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4807 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,194 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3061 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2229 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4466 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2438 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,547,748 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 240 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Artichop | 55% | 98 |
| #7 | Terry | 55% | 130 |
| #8 | dragen comeon | 52% | 170 |
| #9 | b0hliN | 52% | 257 |
| #10 | Ketamin Karl | 50% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | echo | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | Terry | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | marto | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | echo | 1859 | 0.28 | 53 min |
| #2 | Ketamin Karl | 568 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | dragen comeon | 420 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | b0hliN | 322 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | aars | 249 | 0.15 | 8 min |





