








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 567 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 423 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4317 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1739 | 14% |
| Smokes | 4544 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3265 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3190 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,548,031 of utility $255 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tommy Tomsen | 50% | 34 |
| #6 | casi ツ | 49% | 68 |
| #7 | Spon7aN | 47% | 227 |
| #8 | Kanickel @ MonsterEnergy;) | 47% | 60 |
| #9 | Thekenschlampe | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spon7aN | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Thekenschlampe | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | casi ツ | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Tommy Tomsen | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Kanickel @ MonsterEnergy;) | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | casi ツ | 209 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Kanickel @ MonsterEnergy;) | 153 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Spon7aN | 152 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | Thekenschlampe | 133 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tommy Tomsen | 107 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanickel @ MonsterEnergy;) | +0.46 | 61 | 65 |
| #2 | Lukanier | +0.45 | 69 | 51 |
| #3 | Thekenschlampe | +0.44 | 65 | 72 |
| #4 | Tommy Tomsen | +0.34 | 50 | 78 |
| #5 | Spon7aN | -0.23 | 65 | 65 |





