








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3405 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2036 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2895 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2439 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2536 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,658,993 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Kuschelgirl ツ | 39% | 88 |
| #9 | [WEED.LVL.10] Assassin *Danger* | 34% | 41 |
| #10 | Slayer | 32% | 65 |
| #11 | LunaTheKarmaWitchBitch | 31% | 35 |
| #12 | AK-eS//Manni Alotov | 31% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuschelgirl ツ | 217 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | FλптλҲ | 132 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | It'sTrOniXz | 121 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Slayer | 100 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | SeqZz_1 | 73 | 0.07 | 2 min |





