








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 731 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1038 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 755 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 564 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $690,633 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tserno | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | svb | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Utility Keris | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | mytipena | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Don Falzone | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mytipena | 309 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | Don Falzone | 283 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #3 | tserno | 174 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | svb | 103 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Utility Keris | 90 | 0.05 | 2 min |





