








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 394 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,021 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 502 | 25% |
| Smokes | 568 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 320 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 631 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,722,094 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | newt | 45% | 262 |
| #2 | ✪ | 44% | 89 |
| #3 | Kerchoo | 40% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | newt | 45% | 262 |
| #2 | ✪ | 44% | 89 |
| #3 | Kerchoo | 40% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | newt | 47 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | ✪ | 19 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Kerchoo | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ | 268 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | newt | 236 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kerchoo | 46 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | newt | +2.52 | 50 | 34 |
| #2 | ✪ | +0.28 | 35 | 54 |
| #3 | newt wife | -0.64 | 56 | 14 |
| #4 | Kerchoo | -4.02 | 20 | 19 |





