








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1073 | 44% |
| Smokes | 412 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 766 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 212 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $432,676 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crownz | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | St Zeus Cake | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Ohh | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | bloop | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | Triggered | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Big Winky | 46% | 61 |
| #8 | TomOtty | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | Chainsaw Fellow | 40% | 20 |
| #10 | Low Grade Fuel | 38% | 8 |
| #11 | Wolfzor | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Winky | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Triggered | 7 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | TomOtty | 4 | 0.0294 |
| #4 | Genjaharp | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Ohh | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Winky | 267 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | Triggered | 139 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | Genjaharp | 117 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Chainsaw Fellow | 62 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | bloop | 37 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Winky | +3.27 | 52 | 68 |
| #2 | Genjaharp | +2.87 | 72 | 74 |
| #3 | bloop | +1.60 | 53 | 62 |
| #4 | Triggered | +1.11 | 59 | 65 |
| #5 | Crownz | +0.86 | 80 | 52 |





