








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,401 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 636 | 26% |
| Smokes | 896 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 666 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 203 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $158,137 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Thug Cat | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | Stéphane Bern | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | Maal | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | -gSo- Com!ngSoon^. | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -gSo- Com!ngSoon^. | +3.65 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | Noname | +2.41 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | Maal | +0.09 | 87 | 62 |
| #4 | Thug Cat | -0.56 | 63 | 52 |
| #5 | SyN - | -1.25 | 42 | 52 |





